Permanent Recovery is Your Journey

My last Self Care Sunday was about learning to trust yourself. I felt this was a good ending to the Self Care Sunday series, as that is what all of my information truly boils down to, You. You trusting what you KNOW is right for you and your own recovery journey. Trusting that your next recovery step is within you, not what others have deemed recovery based or correct. So, HOW do you arrive at the right next step for you? Well that’s where I’ve got something to say. Regardless of where you are in your recovery journey, whether you’re in the midst of trying to eat enough, or deciding what your passion outside of recovery might look like the question remains the same. Here’s the HOW: Ask yourself,

“What is the BEST next recovery decision for ME with the time, resources and energy I have in my CURRENT situation.”

So let’s break it down:

TIME

When you have time, it seems like anything is possible. You have the tome to slow cook those steel cut oats with your favorite organic fresh berries AND go to the store to purchase your raw almond butter locally sourced (of course). But WHO has time for this?! I bet if you’re reading this, you barely have the time to put pants on before running out the door. So with the time you have (none), the best recovery decision might be a plain bagel (not toasted or even cut in half) straight to the mouth. Is this intuitive and perfect? No, but it’s better in a way, because it’s yours. It’s YOUR best next recovery decision in the moment. High five yourself, and move the flip on!

Resources

When you’ve taken the time to prep for a perfect recovery meal planning week (#NoOneEver), you don’t have to worry about this. Except you do! Imagine being “on your game,” and buying meal planning food for 2 weeks worth of meals. You get crazy in the kitchen and bang out 2 weeks worth of 7 individual meals and snacks per day you think you’ll intuitively want. Then the next day hots and you don’t even want what you so delicately prepared…. ugghhhh! Why did you even try?! Well, there’s a lot to be said for preparation, but use it as a backup instead of a plan. When you’re running out the door, it’s nice to know you’ve got a meal ready to go, but when you don’t have the resources, you really DO have to make the next best recovery decision for YOU with the time and resources you have. You might be on a long car trip and they picked up a giant sub for everyone to share, but you hate ham. Pick it off, eat the sub and move on!

Energy

So you have the time and the energy, but you’re just not feeling it. You didn’t sleep well, you just had a fight with your BFF, you get the picture. But you know you have to eat/meditate/exercise/etc. You have to ask yourself what is the Best decision you can make for your recovery in the moment with what you have…. I revert back to the bagel. You may have the tome to cook, all the food ready to go, and you’re just not up for it. Take it ALL back 3 steps! O what can you do in this moment that won’t waste a lot of energy. A 1-min yoga session? A bagel not toasted with a price of last night’s turkey still cold? Then that’s it. Do it and move on!

Current Situation

So not every situation is going to be intuitively aligned with your recovery goals, intuitive eating schedule, or planet configuration. You have to make the most of it and move on. At a 5-year olds birthday party, they’ll have a processed white cake with neon green frosting, nowhere found in nature. Do you forego the cake because it doesn’t align with the stars? No! You get a piece of cake and eat at least a bite, and then…. you guessed it, move on!

You’ve got this!

I’m READY for my RECOVERY ZOOM GROUP!

We’d love to have you!

You can also email me at SRO@ScarlettRameyOfficial.com for more information!

Lockdown with an Eating Disorder

Struggling with an eating disorder can truly be difficult, but when the country is locked down, the process of recovery can be almost impossible. Those of you experiencing lockdown with an eating disorder are struggling WAY more than most. The nature of an eating disorder includes your already racing and obsessive thoughts surrounding food whether you act on these thoughts or not. The obsessive thoughts do tend to lead to eating disorder behaviors such as restricting, binging, purging, or laxitive/diuretic abuse, however the spun out thoughts alone can be torture on someone struggling. Recovering from an eating disorder pre-lockdown used to include distracting, and purposefully getting out of the sphysical setting you were in, and/or getting away from the source of the thoughts. This is no longer possible unless you live in a part of the country that is opening back up.

Relationships, as well, have become difficult due to social distancing and quarantine orders. Connection is our goal with recovery, due to the healing nature of it. This is often difficult for most of you because the genetically high level of sensitivity keeping you from connecting in general. The longer we go without genuine human connection, in general, the more difficult it is to connect, so when we add the massive amounts of sensitivity, and social anxiety you already feel, things get really difficult. You’ve probably been offered treatment in virtual meeting spaces and platforms, but this allows you to stay anonymous, do other things without paying real attention in real time, and not even really show up for yourself. It is supposed to replicate face to face connection, but when you can mute your voice, and block out your screen, the options to stay hidden become way too tempting. Truly connecting to another human is about you showing up to the present moment for yourself.

You can do this, you simply have to begin.

So what do we do when we find ourselves in lockdown with an eating disorder? We have to now go out of our way to do what we naturally feel anxious to do. Sounds fun, right? I get it, so let’s take it one step at a time

  1. Free write your thoughts. Set the timer for 10 minutes. Really take 10 minutes and write without stopping your full thoughts about any anxiety and fear you have about connecting with someone face to face. Feel free to include all the things that could happen, including implosion and certain demise. When 10 minutes is over, just stop writing where you are. Read it over, and open up that laptop because it’s time to connect…
  2. Set up a face to face connection once per day. This means ACTUALLY showing up without distraction. I know, this seems impossible, but let’s go A-B, not A-Z. First, make it safe (you’re welcome). This means set the time for 5-minutes, no more. Make it someone you feel comfortable talking to, or as comfortable as possible. Tell them you only have 5 minutes but want to get on a virtual face to face call with them. Prepare questions in case the conversation lulls.
  3. Free write EVERYTHING that came up. Set the timer for 10 minutes again, and write without stopping everything that you’re feeling after getting off the “call.” This will decompress your thoughts, and anxiety, which will stay with you the rest of the day if you do not discharge. This level of anxiety is what leads to eating disorder behaviors, so it is important that this is written out, and not kept inside.

This daily practice 25 minutes in total can truly help strengthen the muscles that build up the strength to exist beyond the eating disorder without assistance. Think of it as mental weight lifting. You can also do this with any challenging meals/snacks if it helps. Please reach out and let me know if this exercise is helpful, but the connection, truly showing up for yourself is the highest level (obviously besides eating) of eating disorder recovery you can do. Wishing you all the best in these hard times. I know you all are doing everything you can to recover with everything you have, and I just want to add to the tools you do have.

Eating Disorder Recovery through the Holidays

Do the decorations of the Holidays start to make you panic over the pressure to recover while surrounded by triggers?

It could be the largest understatement in the WORLD to say that people with eating disorders struggle more during the Holidays. Eating disorder recovery through the Holidays can increase anxiety and feel like mental torture. Combining all the “unknowns” can become overwhelming.

The sheer amount of food, fear foods, and expectations from yourself and others to eat “normally” can throw off your recovery game all too easily. Throw in the guests that haven’t seen you in a year, have expectations about what you should/shouldn’t look like, and/or don’t know you’re struggling, and a root canal suddenly seems better than heading off to a Holiday gathering.

Remember it’s ok to WANT to avoid anxiety or talking to total strangers about your eating disorder recovery process.

It’s also TOTALLY common for people to discuss food, diets, and weight during the Holidays, all while surrounded by high calorie and festive Holiday food. Combine that with guests we haven’t seen in a year who begin a conversation with how you look, and I’m surprised you’re not hiding in the bathtub right now. Just the thought of taking on the Holidays with an eating disorder can feel crippling. The thoughts start to race, and the monkeys in your head all start to scream long before the events begin.

During the Holidays, the increased pressure to be comfortable and happy can lead to high anxiety.

Who is going to be there?

What will they think about my body?

Will they say anything to me about my body?

What do I say when people ask what I’m up to?

When will we have to eat?

What will I have to eat?

What should I eat?

What can I get away with?

Who will be watching?

What if they notice me?

What if they think I’m not eating

What if they think I’m eating too much?

How much weight have I gained/lost since EACH of these people has last seen me?

Where should I sit?

When can I leave?

How fast should I eat?

Should I drink alcohol?

How do I lower my anxiety?

What if I have to talk?

How many times can I go to the bathroom without being noticed?

What will they think if I DO go to the bathroom?

What will they say about me if I’m not in the room?

How do I keep from being noticed?

What will they think about what I put on my plate?

Is it too much? Too little?

Etc…..

Do these questions and concerns start going through your head at the mere mention of a Holiday gathering? I get it! Let’s get some practical and powerful tools, and go into these events without compromising your eating disorder recovery through the holidays.

Before the Event

There is a lot you can do to lower your anxiety for an upcoming Holiday event. Plan for the things you can, and try not to obsess over the things you can’t control.
  1. Check your schedule: You may not even be AVAILABLE! So many of my patients start panicking immediately without even seeing if they are available. We can skip this panic by simply checking your schedule. If you have something that conflicts, this makes the decision super easy! RSVP that you won’t be able to make it due to conflicting plans. Done.
  2. Decide if you WANT to go: Remember the Holidays are SO busy for everyone, so no one is going to hold it against you if you can’t come. With tons of invites, people EXPECT some of their guests to have other plans. They’re not sitting around disappointed that you can’t come, I promise. If you DO want to go (AKA you love the family, and want to celebrate with them), keep reading.
  3. Look at what is expected of you: Is this a sit down dinner, cocktail party, costume theme party, block party, small intimate get together, Winter ball? Each have different pressure points, and can be approached differently. If you can plan ahead, you can approach each one in a way that will help preserve your sanity and your eating disorder recovery through the Holidays.
  4. Do not schedule events without a day between: You’ll need it, so just schedule each event with a whole day after as white space.
  5. Plan ahead: Plan everything you can control, and forget the rest. The racing thoughts are usually around things you can’t control, like what people will think or say. If we can plan the things we can control, you’ll feel stronger in handling the things you can’t. Things you can control include:
    1. When you’ll arrive
    2. What you’ll wear
    3. What gift you’ll bring
    4. What you will eat before you go
    5. When you will leave
    6. How you will get there
    7. Who you want to make sure you talk to before you leave
    8. Prepare a list of things you’ve had fun doing this past year
    9. Prepare a list of things you’re excited about for the upcoming year
    10. Practice safe and powerful responses for people who ask about your eating disorder
    11. Plan out white space the day after
    12. Anything else you KNOW you can plan ahead, not worry about

During the Event

It’s normal for you to have some anxiety during a Holiday gathering, so try not to to judge yourself.
  1. Go early: If this is not a sit down dinner, let the party host know you’d love to stop by in your RSVP and that you’ll come early, but you’ll have to leave early. If this IS a sit-down dinner and you feel this would be too much, be sure to let them know you cannot stay for the actual dinner, but wouldn’t miss seeing them, so you’ll be there early.
  2. Bring a gift: It’s hard to get upset with someone who brings a gift. This doesn’t have to be anything expensive, a simple handwritten card is a beautiful gesture of acknowledging how special you think the host is. It also takes the focus off of you, and puts it on the gift.
  3. Eat before you go: A full meal would be appropriate, especially if it’s a cocktail party with tons of fear foods as appetisers. Anxiety can run high with having to deal with people you don’t know, being hungry, AND having to do the rocket science of deciding what to eat when you don’t know what food will be there. If this is a sit down dinner party you will be staying for, a snack is appropriate for all the same reasons. Do not go to a party hungry!
  4. Have your response ready: If asked by anyone, how it’s going with your “issue,” get your response ready, and make sure you’ve practiced it. Here are some examples:
    1. How’s your recovery going?
      1. “Good, thank you. How are the kids?!” (You don’t owe them an explanation, or how it’s actually going unless you feel comfortable. Also people love talking about their kids.)
    2. You look healthy/good/better/great/something positive!
      1. “Thank you, you as well. How are the kids?!” (That’s all. No explanation. Their intent is good, just thank them. Deflect back to them.)
    3. I’ve been worried….
      1. “Thank you, do you have any fun plans this coming year?”
  5. Say a short “Hello!” to safe people: Make it known you’re there, but just barely. That’s where the pre-planned topics about what you had fun with this year, and what you’re excited about the coming year come in handy. Only approach people you feel comfortable with, but at least 3. Ask these 2 questions and then say you’ll be right back. This way people know “you were there” and interested in their lives, even if you don’t stay the whole time.
  6. Eat what feels comfortable: Remember, we are not at any Holiday party to challenge your meal plan or mental stability. Those are being challenged just by being there. If you ate dinner before you go to a cocktail party, feel free to eat anything that stands out without the pressure to fulfill your meal plan. If you are staying for a sit-down dinner, and ate a snack before you went, load your plate with a normal amount of food you’re willing to eat at least one bite of. Then, eat what you feel comfortable with, and at your own pace. Leave the rest without judgement. This one meal will not make or break your recovery, and if asked, which you probably won’t be, simply say your stomach has been funny today.
  7. Leave early: Set a time after arriving that you’ll leave. You don’t even have to tell anyone! That’s the magic of talking to 3 people other than the host. “Everyone” saw you. When this time hits, just quietly slip out and consider the party a success.

After the Event

Remember to schedule some white space the day after an anxiety producing event, even if you don’t think you need it…. you do.
  1. Do something relaxing: Right when you get home, take a bath, jump under your weighted blanket, put on some reality TV, or do anything that will calm your mind.
  2. Eat something: If you didn’t get enough dinner (totally ok) make a large snack, or if you ate dinner before, make a snack before going to bed. Remember anxiety takes a lot of energy.
  3. Write the host a thank you note: The next day, write a small thank you note.
  4. Take advantage of your white space: Do things the day after that truly feel calming and peaceful. There’s a LOT that has to recover after a Holiday party. The next day is the time to get back to your recovery meal plan, whatever it may be.

I am so proud of you for attempting to celebrate the Holidays AND recover from your eating disorder.

If you want an encouraging email every week, sign up to be a Ramey Nutrition Insider!

The Eating Disorder Wolf🐺 vs. the Recovery Wolf🐺

There is an old Native American story of the good wolf and bad wolf within all of us. They are in a constant battle for what choices we will make. “Which one wins?” the child listening to this story asks his grandfather. The grandfather simply replies, “The one you feed.” Well you KNOW I couldn’t pass this up when I heard this story. Feeding, eating disorders, good, bad, etc. It all fits right into the psyche of someone with an eating disorder.

So obviously I reframed this story to fit the battle my patients seem to face in eating disorder recovery. Let’s, for a minute, think about these 2 wolves as the eating disorder and recovery in a battle. The eating disorder wolf represents (loudly) guilt, insecurity, greed, trauma, triggers, anger, not good enough, selfish, anger, etc. The recovery wolf represents (quietly) peace, love, you’re good enough, full, self esteem, generosity, happiness, health, etc.

So let’s follow the story just the way it goes. When we feed both wolves, the eating disorder wolf obviously ears his own, and asks for more. The recovery wolf eats his portion and falls asleep I. The corner. Now when we starve both of them, the recovery wolf continues his nap in the corner, and the eating disorder wolf loses his little mind. Tearing up your brain in ANY way that will make you feed it exactly what it wants. It pushes all of your buttons until you do exactly what it says.

The moment that truly defines the recovery process is when we put the eating disorder wolf in its own cage and feed the recovery wolf, while starving the eating disorder wolf. The recovery wolf gently eats his food, and again, goes back to sleep with a full belly. But on the other side of the cage the eating disorder wolf goes crazy and pulls out ALL the stops. It starts telling you how worthless you are, and how fat the recovery wolf is going to make you. How the recovery wolf hasn’t done anything for you and won’t fight for you. You end up looking over, and notice that the eating disorder wolf is right! The recovery wolf is LITERALLY sleeping. Shouldn’t it have the energy to fight the eating disorder wolf? Stand up for you? Shouldn’t it?

NO!

If we waited for recovery to motivate us or inspire us to fight through the eating disorder’s rage, we’d never kill it. Your recovery is there waiting for you but you are the only one that can fight the eating disorder wolf once you start to starve it, while you feed the recovery wolf.

Yep, that’s right, YOU have to step in, and fight to defend your recovery, who is not doing anything for you in the moment.

This, my friends, is the reason it will always be difficult to recover, because recovery doesn’t fight for you. You have to fight FOR it. And your opposer, the eating disorder wolf knows all your moves, all your buttons, and all your weaknesses, because it’s you. You are literally fighting YOU in order to protect and save YOU. I know that sounds weird, but the eating disorder wolf is you. You’re fighting all the disordered thoughts you’ve developed to protect yourself from a world you can’t control.

But over in the corner, sleeping like a jackass, is your recovery. The place where you are free from your disordered thoughts, and all the harm you’ve caused yourself through feeding the eating disorder wolf. Sometimes, I know, it’s hard to fight for something that literally won’t even fight for itself, but I can promise, it’s worth it. It also becomes super sad when such a big part of what has kept you safe dies. So don’t dismiss the fact that it will be one of the hardest losses of your life, losing that eating disorder wolf. This has been the one wolf that demanded more of your attention, the one you spend the majority of your time with, and the one who seems to have been there this whole time.

So the starvation of the eating disorder wolf has been, is, and will always be the most terrible process. Don’t EVER think I don’t know that. It’s super frustrating when you feel alone protecting something you can’t even get to wake up! But that recovery wolf is everything you REALLY are, and just because it doesn’t feel familiar, it’s worth getting to know. The difficult part here is starving the wolf, and drowning out his noise in order to feed and get to know the recovery wolf (who you really are).

I’d love your insights on this if you’re willing to share your stories.*If you need support NOW, feel free to reach out to me!*

Email Scarlett:
SRO@ScarlettRameyOfficial.com
Text Scarlett:
(206) 910-8690

If you are looking for more support in your journey to Recovery and Life, I would be honored if you became a Ramey Nutrition Insider

You’ll find fun fun support tools and freebies in my first email!
YES! I Want In!

If you’re into it, feel free to share this with any other people in your support circle that you KNOW need to hear these words!

Yours in love and support,

Scarlett Ramey, MS, RDN, CD

P.S. Hope to see you in the comments. Let’s rally together during this time and stay connected in supporting YOUR Recovery journey.  The world deserves the BEST of you.❤️

What Does Your Rock Bottom Look Like?

Rock bottom, in the eating disorder population, seems to be less of a turning point, and more of a campground. Every time I see someone defend their eating disorder by finding reasons it must stay, rock bottom seems to look more like a pinterest living room than a place of demise. Sure, the fear seems to be there, but what they won’t do to protect their rock bottom is a short list. The world is full of opportunities to EITHER recover or protect what feels safe.

For instance:“The nurse told me my weight at the doctor’s office.”
We could take this either up Recovery Mountain, and explore what it means to know your weight verses not knowing your weight, what feelings come up, and what deeper issues those feelings might be attached to in order to put on the list for future healing…

Or we could use this experience to protect the eating disorder by engaging in eating disorder behaviors, thoughts, or use it as a reason to dig deeper into the hole of the eating disorder instead of climbing out. Rock bottom is wherever you stop digging.

Another example:“Someone wrote something triggering in my Facebook Support Group.”

So we can take this AGAIN, one of two ways. Explore through writing, drawing, talking, therapy, phone sessions etc. what the experience was like, get to the deeper feelings that might or might not be tied to an issue that needs to be healed. See my Trigger Tracker and Free Write Worksheets for this. Reframe the word, phrase, etc. to something that helped you move up the mountain toward your own healing, and recognize, that once reframed and explored that it was invaluable. 

Or we could use this as a jumping off point to protect not only your eating disorders, but those of others in the Support Group. Arguing with the fact that something should not be posted due to making yourself or others feel triggered is defending the stuckness, and resistance to exploring further what this might mean. When we feel defensive, there is meaning in that, that could be explored, but when we defend the avoidance of anything triggering, we lose sight of the goal of recovery. We dig deeper, our hole, and snuggle deeper into the covers of the disorder.

Recovery happens when we let go of comfort WHILE being terrified of the unknown. Once we can let go of the shovel, and start at least looking up, we can start exploring what we used to keep us safe. The idea is to feel and explore the feelings that compel disordered eating thoughts and behaviors. Only YOU will know your own next step in recovery.  The action you KNOW you personally need to take to move ahead. Attempt to immerse yourself into the next step WHILE you feel the feelings around the action and its meaning. Do the action AND feel the feelings. Eat the increased food AND explore the feelings it brings up. Look at that scale number AND be scared. Explore these opportunities to truly look at the painful steps that eventually lead to a full and healthy life.

I’d love your insights on this if you’re willing to share your stories.🌟If you need support NOW, feel free to reach out to me!🌟

Email Scarlett:
SRO@ScarlettRameyOfficial.com
Text Scarlett:
(206) 910-8690

If you are looking for more support in your journey to Recovery and Life, I would be honored if you became a Ramey Nutrition Insider

You’ll find fun fun support tools and freebies in my first email!
YES! I Want In!

If you’re into it, feel free to share this with any other people in your support circle that you KNOW need to hear these words!

Yours in love and support,

Scarlett Ramey, MS, RDN, CD♥️

P.S. Hope to see you in the comments. Let’s rally together during this time and stay connected in supporting YOUR Recovery journey.  The world deserves the BEST of you.♥️

Make Your Triggers Work for YOU!

Within eating disorder support groups all over the internet, you’ll hear a word “trigger” sprinkled throughout, and covering almost every post that challenges people to feel deep hard feelings. The word, that covers so many posts like an explosion of glitter you can’t wash off, is “trigger.” When I polled people who were willing to be interviewed through private messaging, they all seemed to agree that the word trigger to them is a harsh, negative reaction, stimulating action that could be harmful. Seems like something we should avoid at all costs, right? Well, maybe… but if we take those triggers that ignite deep feelings and start exploring them in the moment (each moment), we can actually get those pesky little things to start working FOR us toward a personalized recovery.

Trigger words I’ve been accused of using include:

  • Over
  • Recovered
  • Fat
  • Trigger
  • Recovery Based
  • Perfect
  • Weight
  • Obesity
  • Medical
  • Metabolism
  • Scale
  • Diet Coke
  • Comparison
  • Binging
  • Mental Illness
  • Weight Restoration
  • Etc.

So, as you can see: There are A LOT of opportunities to explore these triggers and go deeper into your own recovery process! Exciting, I know…. But if you think about it, the way we’ve witnessed “triggers” in these online platforms seems to only include, warning about the subject matter, avoiding the post by deleting it, arguing about whether it’s a trigger or not, and exercising eating disorder behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that aid in numbing out the upset of the subject. I don’t blame anyone for these limited reactions, as they must be dealt with in the ways that feel accessible to people in the moment, but what if we had another way to make these triggers work for us?

The reason we tend to react pretty compulsively to triggers is because it seems to be an instant and sharp overwhelm of emotions, like when we put our hand on a hot stove burner. You don’t sit there and contemplate how hot it is, you react. Instantly. But with emotional triggers there is a window of time (SUPER SHORT) where we can do some exploration with the trigger, so, if you’re willing to take your triggers to the next level, get your materials ready now, as triggers are everywhere, and if we are in reaction mode, we will not have the forethought to prepare for exploration exercises.

I wrote a simple to use Trigger Tracker Worksheet to easily print out and have available when triggers seem to sink in and feel overwhelming.

Here is a preview of my Trigger Tracker for anyone wanting a quick deep dive into an accessible trigger:

I’d love your insights on this if you’re willing to share your stories.*If you need support NOW, feel free to reach out to me!*

Email Scarlett:
SRO@ScarlettRameyOfficial.com
Text Scarlett:
(206) 910-8690

If you are looking for more support in your journey to Recovery and Life, I would be honored if you became a Ramey Nutrition Insider

You’ll find fun fun support tools and freebies in my first email!
YES! I Want In!

If you’re into it, feel free to share this with any other people in your support circle that you KNOW need to hear these words!

Yours in love and support,

Scarlett Ramey, MS, RDN, CD

P.S. Hope to see you in the comments. Let’s rally together during this time and stay connected in supporting YOUR Recovery journey.  The world deserves the BEST of you.♥️

Fat IS a Feeling. Acknowledge and Explore It.

FAT: Overweight, The “F” word, derogatory word meant to harm people, heavy, fat, obese, greedy, not fitting in, vulnerable, not good enough… These are the definitions I received from people struggling with eating disorders.

I posted recently in multiple eating disorder support groups, “What does the word “FAT” mean to you?” After the expected litany of comments about this word being super triggering, and that it should never be used within any eating disorder support group, it made me think why this word hits so hard for some, and others can get right to their feelings around it. One woman claimed the word had “Plagued” her, while another discusses how it makes her feel exposed and vulnerable to a dangerous world. Others were instantly brought back to childhood memories of traumatizing moments of name calling, and bullying. This is intense!

So how is it that we chant with the passion of a thousand white hot suns that, “Fat is not a feeling!”

It certainly can trigger some traumatic feelings, so maybe it NEEDS to be a damned feeling!

In my last Self Care Sunday, I discussed the feeling of fat as being at the base of the Recovery Mountain, with 5 other levels above it. In order to stay true to who I am as a provider, I will NEVER avoid something that could trigger uncomfortable feelings that lead to true recovery. So in we go. The feeling of fat is truly one of the most accessible feelings we can have in the beginning of the eating disorder recovery process. To avoid this feeling is to disallow the exploration of its deeper feelings that could lead us through the pain to a life without an eating disorder. If someone is triggered by the word, “FAT,” there’s probably a pretty valid reason, so to dismiss the only word accessible to them as, “Not a feeling!” You end up with an anxious patient who doesn’t feel heard. 

First, please acknowledge that if you can say that you, “feel fat,” you’re well on the road to accessing truly deep feelings that will help you explore and create your own path through and to recovery. If you are triggered by this word, you might be contemplating the idea of recovery, but with VERY strict stipulations that it not be painful…. interesting, right? If you don’t need the word fat to jump into your deeper issues, the process is just a little less confusing. 

When it’s the only feeling we can access, congratulate yourself on getting THERE! But, don’t stop and camp out there. TRY (I repeat, TRY) to take it to that next level: In the EXACT moment you are feeling fat, what does it feel like to feel fat. Clear as mud, right?! I know…. This is going to take some practice, but just remember, the feeling of fat will change depending on where you are emotionally at any given time. So try to avoid “remembering” what you thought it meant before. The exploration of fat could involve:

  • Where in your body you feel fat?
  • What feelings does it bring up?
  • What triggered the feeling this time?
  • How does it arrive, slowly and painfully, or like a bomb?
  • When, if possible to track, does it tend to arrive?
  • How long does it last usually?
  • etc.

The POINT is to explore the feeling and not avoid it.

I’d love your insights on this if you’re willing to share your stories.🌟*If you need support NOW, feel free to reach out to me!*🌟

Email Scarlett:
SRO@ScarlettRameyOfficial.com
Text Scarlett:
(206) 910-8690

If you are looking for more support in your journey to Recovery and Life, I would be honored if you became a Ramey Nutrition Insider

You’ll find fun fun support tools and freebies in my first email!
YES! I Want In!

If you’re into it, feel free to share this with any other people in your support circle that you KNOW need to hear these words!🐣

Yours in love and support💯

Scarlett Ramey, MS, RDN, CD

P.S. Hope to see you in the comments. Let’s rally together during this time and stay connected in supporting YOUR Recovery journey.  The world deserves the BEST of you.♥️

How to Hatch Your Own Eating Disorder Recovery🐣

Hatch Your Own Recovery: The beginning of the process of eating disorder recovery is possibly most fearful, and this fear is usually the fear that lasts the longest. I discussed on my last  Self Care Sunday the different phases of eating disorder recovery including changes in and expectations of:

  • Food
  • Thoughts
  • Fears
  • Emotions
  • Resistance
  • Obstacles surmounted
  • Points of ease

Because it was my first time discussing this new concept (as I had JUST developed it that morning), I know there were live/after live questions, and awesome insights from everyone that made me so happy. So let’s dive deep into each phase together so so we can develop a complete concept together! PLEASE, for everyone’s sake, go back to Self Care Sunday, watch carefully, and add your own questions and insights as this will help us all solidify this Patient Centered Recovery Diagram.

I need your help, here. After watching SCS, and listening to the portion referring to what I cheekily called “The Run Around,” I need to know what the best name for this phase would be. Vote in the comments:

  1. The Run-Around
  2. BS (Just kidding)
  3. Exploring Recovery (Mountain)
  4. Trailhead Hunting
  5. Finding Your Start
  6. Land of Trigger Warnings
  7. OTHER (Please help here, as you can see, I need it!)

So once we name this phase, we will have the beginning of a patient centered recovery plan! How exciting is this?! But to name it, let me get really clear about what this phase looks like. This is the solid defense for the impossibility of recovery: Let me explain. This is what you see in some eating disorder “support groups,” where people protect, in a way, the eating disorder. “I’ll never get out of this,” “I feel so fat,” “TW,” “Why do I feel so bloated,” posting motivational quotes, while not taking the next steps in recovery, “Take away triggers in my environment,” “I can’t recover because a yogurt commercial triggered me,” “She’s skinnier than me, I’m not eating today,” “I’m not recovering because I’m too scared to gain weight.” “I don’t trust my body,” etc.  This phase is where fear is so real, and it’s mostly the fear of the unknown. What will happen if I take those first baby steps in my recovery? The fears are all about what feels immediately accessible to the person. The anxiety makes it impossible to take any of these fears deeper. Fears include getting triggered, comparison, jealousy, fear of gaining weight, not trusting the body’s physicality, feeling fat.

What does food look like here? It’s VERY controlled. The anxiety felt in this phase can be so paralyzing, that, in my professional opinion, asking someone here to challenge their food recovery, is really, just mean. They already feel so fearful, and stuck in this phase, that I NEVER challenge food habits here. Instead, I instill trust at this stage and let them know we are SO far from talking about food, that they can hear me discuss how to get on the mountain. The only goal is to take those fears/triggers/feelings of fat/etc. just a little deeper. 

If we can get to the real emotions/fears they are dealing with, we can step up onto the mountain of recovery. It might be a baby step onto a random trailhead, but they’re definitely on once they can admit what their true anxiety/fear is really about. Everyone will have different feelings evolve out of some of the same surfactant feelings. For instance, feeling fat can mean 1,000 different things to different people, and sometimes at different times of the day for the same person. Once we can get to the fact that today, in this moment, fat feels lonely/scary/exhausting/etc. we have taken a step on the PATIENT’S path of recovery.

This is definitely an obstacle that MUST be surmounted in order to START forging your recovery path. If I tell you what your feeling fat means, you’re on my path…. It’s not going to work. A point of ease in this is getting on the mountain doesn’t need to involve changing your food/eating habits/disorder behaviors. You’re welcome. Another point of ease here is that this is the only time you’ll START to feel my support, when before, you may have felt that I was distant. The reason for this is that when you’re circling the mountain looking for your path, I can’t get involved past the point of challenging you to just pick one. 

It has to be YOURS, but once you take those feelings deeper, and take that first step onto your path, I am the most SUPPORTIVE person! This is where we can discuss how you want to take on this mountain, and how I can support you best.

A fun image for this phase is the frustration and delight of watching a baby chick break out of his egg.  It can take (for me) WAAAAAAAAY too long for anything meaningful to happen, as you sit there and watch the egg roll back and forth, and then nothing. Inside this egg is a sweet chick is gaining enough strength to live on the outside of the shell, all by pushing and kicking the egg. Then eventually, a tiny foot comes through the egg, only to pull it RIGHT back into the egg (it’s cold out there). When they finally break out of the egg, it ain’t pretty. They are slimy, disgusting, and not the yellow chick they end up becoming in the end. The beginning of this process is also pretty nasty, but it’s also the biggest jump. Well, I’ve watched so many eggs hatch, that I have had to become more gentle with the process. This is why it’s easier for me, now, to be cool with the amount of time you need to stay in this phase before wanting to hatch. I know if I reach out and crack that egg for you, you’ll die because you won’t have gained the strength to live in any other phase. On the other hand if you stay in the egg, you’ll also die sooner than you would if you broke out of the egg. Sorry.

Please let me know what insights you find for yourself, and your own recovery journey. *If you need support NOW, BOOK a phone session with me!*

Email Scarlett:
SRO@ScarlettRameyOfficial.com
Text Scarlett:
(206) 910-8690

If you are looking for more support in your journey to Recovery and Life, I would be honored if you became a Ramey Nutrition Insider

You’ll find fun fun support tools and freebies in my first email!
YES! I Want In!

If you’re into it, feel free to share this with any other people in your support circle that you KNOW need to hear these words!

Yours in love and support,

Scarlett Ramey, MS, RDN, CD

P.S. Hope to see you in the comments. Let’s rally together during this time and stay connected in supporting YOUR Recovery journey.  The world deserves the BEST of you.❤️

Support by the Minute for YOUR Recovery!

Are you looking for support throughout this time where the world seems shut down? I’ve got you! Lately, things have been so up in the air, and we have been forced to learn different technologies, just to communicate with one another. For me, it’s actually become so frustrating, that I’ve given up. Zoom, video chats, Facetime, etc. i’d rather just pick up the phone and talk to you! Or at the very least, send you a love text. Super easy! Let’s get on the phone and start moving forward!

My process includes moving toward even the very beginning of your process, so that we can jump into what’s important to you. My phone sessions go as long as you need them, unless I have other appointments scheduled.

Here’s what you can expect:

  • Personalized goal setting
  • No meal plans, unless you need short term goals 
  • Suggestions for increased support
  • Discussion of what is ACTUALLY going on with you
  • Getting to the bottom of your issues
  • Reminding you that you can trust your own process
  • Figuring out your journey, and what the next step is for you
  • Getting gentle with where you are every step of your own journey.

Every call is about you. No formula, no agenda. It’s about you, and where you ACTUALLY are, not where you think you should be. I’ll take you off the wall of self-judgement and get you back to YOU. When we can get real with where you are, what you need, and what you CAN do, progress actually happens.

You can text my number and request an appointment in the moment, and I’ll take you on the spot if I can. Sometimes it’s nice to be able to text and get an appointment when things are ACTUALLY hard, and talk to someone without having to get on your computer, have the data delays, and then wait 2 weeks for an opening. No insurance accepted, you can pay electronically, and here’s the cool part:

 IT’S ONLY $0.83/MIN

Need to vent for 28 minutes while you’re in the car on the way to a dinner you’re freaking out about? Call me! You’ll only get charged for exactly 28 minutes!

Talk as long or as short as you need, and don’t get charged for ANYTHING I’m not right there with you for.

Even when you feel like you’ve HAD it, you belong to me, sweet one! I’ve got you!

My latest blog on feeling Done might help you discern whether I’m the right girl for you.

Let me know if you’re MY kind of rad patient, and I’ll be there for you every step of the way, regardless of where you are!Want a FREE 10 Min session to see if I’m your girl?Text me at:(206) 910-8690NameIssues you’re dealing withTime you can talk for 10 min

If you are looking for more support in your journey to Recovery and Life, I would be honored if you became a
Ramey Nutrition Insider

You’ll find fun fun support and tools in my first email!

YES! I Want In!

If you’re into it, feel free to share this with anyone you KNOW could use this type of support!

Yours in love and support,

Scarlett Ramey, MS, RDN, CD

P.S. Hope to see your beautiful texts come through. The world deserves the BEST of you.❤️

Have a Case of “The F*CK ITS?”

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I’m SO done with this! I cannot continue TRYING to recover EVERY FLIPPING DAY! F*CK IT!”

You are number one, not alone, and number two, RIGHT ON TRACK. I realize there are a lot of caps in this piece, but they are emotionally there to show how frustrating it can be to consistently do the impossible tasks of eating disorder recovery. This is also going to sound weird, but this is where I live, this stage of recovery is where I’m actually talented. When the surfactant bullshit drops about being scared of weight gain, and the “what if’s,” without jumping in with both feet, this is where I’m at my best with support. When you’ve actually done all the steps with food, therapy, groups, journaling, and trying to build thoughts to replace the 95% of those that have defined you for years, and you’ve had it. You drop to your proverbial knees, and pray for it all to end. This is the stage of recovery I WISH for you all. This is the magic spot where shit gets real. This is where the “YOU” emerges, and I’ve been brought to tears with how beautiful it can be. I feel so fortunate to be allowed into this darkest, most vulnerable place no one else gets to go.

This is where I’ve seen my patients FINALLY say, “F*CK what I’m supposed to do, I need to fight this war MY way.” This is where we get to start talking real recovery, THEIR recovery. Did you hear me though? This is the START…. of your journey, yes, but just the start.

Blows, but until my patients get to this point, we are really dealing with only what they can deal with. All totally ok, because you can only be where you are on your journey, and I’m there for you every step of the way.  But, let me tell you, once we reach this stage, I know we are finally on YOUR recovery path and done doing what you think you’re expected to do. This is where real recovery starts to emerge in tangible ways. It looks clearer, because it’s finally yours. If you’ve been a patient of mine, you know that this is where I can throw a pen at you and call bullsh*t, and you get it. This is where I see my patients draw ALL the boundaries they need to move forward authentically. This is where they’re willing to do the hard emotional work, because it’s finally their work.

No funny memes on this guy, because I want my words to truly sink in, that if you are at this point, you’ve F*CKING made it. Congratulations, time to call me if you’d like support moving, not through this, but up. Before this point, I need you to know that you’ve been circling a mountain of recovery worried about how scary it is, and now that you’ve reached the “F*CK ITS,” you’ve taken the first step UP the mountain on YOUR path. Don’t let others circling the bottom tell you to, “Come back down,” or “You’ll get through this.” The only support that you’ll actually FEEL at this point is from others ON the mountain. I’ve been up and down this mountain, and on 1,000 different paths with my patients, and I know that if you’ve achieved the “F*CK ITS” you’re well on your way to a RECOVERED life that YOU choose. I’m proud you made it here. It took a lot of work, and I wish you the most meaningful journey toward YOURSELF, for this is just the beginning of everything you will become.

Please let me know what insights you find for yourself, and your own recovery journey. *If you need support NOW, BOOK a phone session with me!*

Email me at:
SRO@ScarlettRameyOfficial.com
Or text me at:
(206) 910-8690

If you are looking for more support in your journey to Recovery and Life, I would be honored if you became a
Ramey Nutrition Insider

You’ll find fun fun support tools and freebies in my first email!

YES! I Want In!

If you’re into it, feel free to share this with any other people in your support circle that you KNOW need to hear these words!

Yours in love and support,

Scarlett Ramey, MS, RDN, CD

P.S. Hope to see you in the comments. Let’s rally together during this time and stay connected in supporting YOUR Recovery journey.  The world deserves the BEST of you.❤️