FAT: Overweight, The “F” word, derogatory word meant to harm people, heavy, fat, obese, greedy, not fitting in, vulnerable, not good enough… These are the definitions I received from people struggling with eating disorders.
I posted recently in multiple eating disorder support groups, “What does the word “FAT” mean to you?” After the expected litany of comments about this word being super triggering, and that it should never be used within any eating disorder support group, it made me think why this word hits so hard for some, and others can get right to their feelings around it. One woman claimed the word had “Plagued” her, while another discusses how it makes her feel exposed and vulnerable to a dangerous world. Others were instantly brought back to childhood memories of traumatizing moments of name calling, and bullying. This is intense!
So how is it that we chant with the passion of a thousand white hot suns that, “Fat is not a feeling!”
It certainly can trigger some traumatic feelings, so maybe it NEEDS to be a damned feeling!
In my last Self Care Sunday, I discussed the feeling of fat as being at the base of the Recovery Mountain, with 5 other levels above it. In order to stay true to who I am as a provider, I will NEVER avoid something that could trigger uncomfortable feelings that lead to true recovery. So in we go. The feeling of fat is truly one of the most accessible feelings we can have in the beginning of the eating disorder recovery process. To avoid this feeling is to disallow the exploration of its deeper feelings that could lead us through the pain to a life without an eating disorder. If someone is triggered by the word, “FAT,” there’s probably a pretty valid reason, so to dismiss the only word accessible to them as, “Not a feeling!” You end up with an anxious patient who doesn’t feel heard.
First, please acknowledge that if you can say that you, “feel fat,” you’re well on the road to accessing truly deep feelings that will help you explore and create your own path through and to recovery. If you are triggered by this word, you might be contemplating the idea of recovery, but with VERY strict stipulations that it not be painful…. interesting, right? If you don’t need the word fat to jump into your deeper issues, the process is just a little less confusing.
When it’s the only feeling we can access, congratulate yourself on getting THERE! But, don’t stop and camp out there. TRY (I repeat, TRY) to take it to that next level: In the EXACT moment you are feeling fat, what does it feel like to feel fat. Clear as mud, right?! I know…. This is going to take some practice, but just remember, the feeling of fat will change depending on where you are emotionally at any given time. So try to avoid “remembering” what you thought it meant before. The exploration of fat could involve:
- Where in your body you feel fat?
- What feelings does it bring up?
- What triggered the feeling this time?
- How does it arrive, slowly and painfully, or like a bomb?
- When, if possible to track, does it tend to arrive?
- How long does it last usually?
- etc.
The POINT is to explore the feeling and not avoid it.
I’d love your insights on this if you’re willing to share your stories.🌟*If you need support NOW, feel free to reach out to me!*🌟
Email Scarlett:
SRO@ScarlettRameyOfficial.com
Text Scarlett:
(206) 910-8690
If you are looking for more support in your journey to Recovery and Life, I would be honored if you became a Ramey Nutrition Insider
You’ll find fun fun support tools and freebies in my first email!
YES! I Want In!
If you’re into it, feel free to share this with any other people in your support circle that you KNOW need to hear these words!🐣
Yours in love and support💯
Scarlett Ramey, MS, RDN, CD
P.S. Hope to see you in the comments. Let’s rally together during this time and stay connected in supporting YOUR Recovery journey. The world deserves the BEST of you.♥️