There’s not usually a lot of confusion around whether or not you’re restoring weight in eating disorder recovery, as it tends to come on like a Mack TRUCK! The body does NOT screw around when food is reintroduced to a body who has been put through the ringer of ANY eating disorder. We tend to think the body as being kind of inconsiderate to our psyche, as it restores without our input, direction or desired speed. If it were up to my patients and they could choose how their bodies put on the weight, you wouldn’t BELIEVE the elaborate plans you’d hear!
Anyone who has EVER struggled with an eating disorder is naturally very sensitive, and they like to KNOW what they can expect, if change MUST occur. Reading through all the questions I received, I had to ask, “Didn’t anyone tell you what would happen so you could be ready?!” The answer was a resounding, “No. . .”The reasoning for this spanned from, assuming the discussion would lead to triggers, to the fear that the information would keep them from recovering.
Really?! Ok, let’s surprise them with weird and unusual weight gain, that’ll work!
Well, my patients are ridiculously smart, so I’m going to throw down some science, and “OUT” some of the secrets of weight gain. Not only do I believe you DESERVE to know what’s coming (or, for some of you, what’s already happening), I believe you’ll be able to understand the mechanics in order to get through this part of your OWN recovery, damnit! Ok forgive my rant.
Weight Restoration Must Happen
All eating disorders have to weight restore, I promise, it’s just the truth. In anorexia nervous, we understand why they have to restore. But what about bulimia, binge eating, EDNOS, diabulimia, or any disorder in which the individual is at or above a normal weight for height? Restoring weight in eating disorder recovery truly means restoring what the body needs to LIVE. Regardless of body weight, people who struggle with eating disorders almost ALL attempt food restriction at some frequency. I see it throughout all the threads:
- “I binged last night, so I didn’t eat X meal.”
- “I binge and purge all day, tomorrow I’m not eating anything.”
- “I took my insulin, so I’m definitely not eating.”
Even the ATTEMPT to restrict as often as people do, takes its toll on the body. You may see a normal, or above normal weight on the scale, but the weight of your vital organs will eventually deteriorate to compensate for the consistent restricting attempts.
There is no reason to make someone overweight in recovery, but the body needs some time to trust that you’ll give it the nutrients it needs to regrow organ tissue (SPOILER ALERT! It will always take longer than you’d like). It may need to hold onto some weight before it lets go.
Imagine a dirty abused toddler on the street. You give him a brand new soft teddy bear. Then you rip it out of his arms because he, “doesn’t or shouldn’t need it.” You’d NEVER do that!
Can we just back off the body, then? It gets to hold on for a minute, until IT feels safe to let go. It doesn’t need the extra weight just like the toddler doesn’t need the bear, but it helps until it trusts you again. Be gentle. It’s been through ALL the ups and downs of wondering when it’ll be fed next, how much, and if you’ll just take it all away later. Give it the teddy bear right now.
- What can you do right now to be gentle with your body’s needs?
- How can you get consistent so your body can begin to trust you again?
- What realistic support can you ask for to help you do these very difficult things?
Comment below, and you have all my love and support through this.
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