In traditional treatment for people recovering from an eating disorder, distracting is recommended consistently for a multitude of reasons. The National Eating Disorder Association recommends this technique when the urge to use eating disorder behaviors arrives, when you feel lonely on holidays, and even as a tool for loved ones to support by “distracting you.” They recommend distracting yourself from consuming media, and avoiding triggers. This is, sadly, the #1 resource out there for people to gain information about eating disorders.
Now, how do you think eating disorders develop in the FIRST place? Sweet sensitive souls try to avoid the pain of loneliness/holidays/trauma, and distract themselves with disordered eating behaviors. The answer of distraction from feeling pain is in fact just ANOTHER disorder. Here are three reasons distracting doesn’t work when trying to recover from an eating disorder, and what you can do instead.
1. It doesn’t work long term.
When you distract yourself from an eating disorder behavior, by, let’s say, taking a walk, you are postponing the feeling BENEATH the urge to use behaviors. This only lasts for the duration of the walk and maybe a little longer, until the pain inevitably returns.
What to Do Instead!
When ANY urge comes over you, like this: explore it. Urges to “distract” using your eating disorder are waves of pain with SO much information. Use my Free Write Insight Worksheet right in the moment of the urge. This worksheet is SO different than a distracting worksheet as it gets to the feelings BENEATH the urge, so these urges can be handled in that moment, or used for next time.
2. It assumes you CAN’T handle your own feelings.
If you must distract yourself in order to avoid using behaviors, this assumes you can’t handle the feelings under the urges to use. It assumes weakness in a population you can’t find MORE able to handle pain. It creates a situation where you compulsively are doing something else, you otherwise would not do in order to avoid behaviors EACH moment? That’s a LOT of distracting.
What to Do Instead!
Say out loud, or YELL:
“This is NOT about the food!”
“Something REAL inside me is hurting right NOW!”
“I deserve to KNOW what my REAL feelings are.”
“I can HANDLE what’s beneath this.”
Then, get out the worksheet and start exploring your REAL feelings, RIGHT in that moment.
3. It keeps you from seeing your REAL successes in recovery.
Again, this is YOUR recovery, not a handbook you follow. These are YOUR urges to explore, and because they are yours, they deserve exploration! If all you can do is distract yourself from media, behaviors, or any painful feelings, how can we celebrate you getting THROUGH the tough pain? I want so badly to celebrate your path, because it’s yours. That INCLUDES the pain, the behaviors, and the fighting THROUGH them, not running away.
What to Do Instead!
Keep a seperate journal JUST for your courageous moments. Running away from behaviors is not courageous. . . Any time a GIANT feeling comes up that you actually acknowledge, and work through, write in THIS journal what your experience was like, and why you believe you were able to do it in THIS moment. When you feel down, or discouraged, simply whip out this masterpiece, and flip to any page that inspires you to keep moving on YOUR path.
You are SO dang strong. All the work, all the pain, and all the feelings. You CAN get through these, and when you need support reach out! We are always here for YOU.
Scarlett Ramey