When food is like drug withdrawal.
Sometimes the panic of visiting a restaurant can start with just the idea or suggestion of going. I get it. People not familiar with the journey of eating disorder recovery don’t seem to understand. It’s just a restaurant, right? Not necessarily…
I like to explain the “idea of eating out,” to people trying to understand the plight of their loved ones, the way I’d explain a drug addict getting to the last pill in a bottle. Hang in there with me now…
Just as you panic before you even decide whether to go to a restaurant, your brain goes right to the chemical effect food will have on your sense of safety. When you starve to the point you stop feeling hunger pangs, your brain releases brain soothing chemicals to keep you from feeling the hunger signals anymore. Endorphins, serotonin, and other fabulous feeling chemicals can make people without anxiety issues feel euphoric, but for the anxiety prone, it can bring a feeling of general relief from anxiety about the world around them. Just relief, not happiness, or euphoria. Once a person starts to eat after this time period, the way the science works is that the stretch receptors in the stomach start sending signals to the brain to discontinue the pain relieving chemicals from saturating the brain’s receptors. To the normal person, this looks like coming down from euphoria to a normal state. To the anxiety prone, this looks like going from a feeling of safety and relief to a possible panic attack.
Just the way a drug addict fears getting down to their last pill, the person struggling with a restrictive eating disorder starts panicking long before eating at a restaurant. The monkey thoughts, as I like to call those racing thoughts that come from the simple proposition of taking away those endorphins, go crazy!
- Where are we going?
- Will they have something that will keep me safe?
- Who will be there?
- Do they have a menu online?
- What happens if I eat too much?
- How do I get away with eating enough for the people around me, but not enough to make me scared?
- What if they put things in my food to make me fat?
- What if they get my order wrong?
- How can I make it look like I’m eating
- Etc.
The panic rips right through those safe and cozy chemicals designed to calm the central nervous system. THAT’S how frightening it can be. The goal with all of this is to remember, or just reread the following bullet points when that panic comes on:
- We are not there right now
- I am ALWAYS at choice
- Not that I will, but I could eat something safe before and order nothing if it got too overwhelming
- I don’t owe anything to anyone but myself
- My recovery journey is MINE, and so is this restaurant experience
- It’s ok if I need to prepare by looking at the menu before hand
- I am where I am in my recovery journey because I fought hard to get here
- I owe it to myself to be gentle through this situation no one has to struggle through but me
Do a free write before hand (10 minutes only please) and one after.
Keep up your magic, and reach out to me if you need support navigating these waters.
*If you need support NOW, BOOK a phone session with me!*
Email me at:
SRO@ScarlettRameyOfficial.com
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(206) 910-8690
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If you’re into it, feel free to share this with any other people in your support circle that you KNOW need to hear these words!
Yours in love and support,
Scarlett Ramey, MS, RDN, CD
P.S. Hope to see you in the comments. Let’s rally together during this time and stay connected in supporting YOUR Recovery journey. The world deserves the BEST of you.♥️