Bulimia Nervosa is usually characterized by a heightened sense of anxiety, quelled by a compulsion to eat rapidly and compensate through vomiting, abusing laxatives, or compulsive exercising. The stimuli for the behaviors associated with Bulimia Nervosa are usually associated with anxiety or overwhelm.
Through my years in treating bulimia, I have noticed an interesting theme in the behaviors of binging and self induced vomiting. There is, what I’ve termed, a “Magic Bite.” The “Bite of No Return.” The one that makes it all better, the “deciding moment.” What does this mean? And why is it so nerve wracking?
So if you are bulimic, you’ll jump right in and jive with this, but if you’re not, this is good to know to support your loved one with more education. This is the magic bite:
You’re going along with a meal and you feel full. Not uncomfortable, and not like you couldn’t possibly take another bite, or at ALL stuffed. Just full “enough.” Enough to spark a level of anxiety that could drive you off a bridge. A level forcing you to find a solution in desperation. And then, there it is. . . the magic bite. The one that will make it all go away. The one that will SAVE the situation. It really is magic.
This is the bite that decides you are too full and now must eat 8 times what you normally would, and then vomit as a compensatory measure. Literally this bite is enabling you to eat just to vomit. The purging then releases the anxiety you just felt. This is the bite that allows you to call the shots and get the situation back in your control, and press redo.
This is such a huge theme throughout the bulimic community, that I felt I needed a solution for it! When these sweet folks get to this point, the science actually dictates the compulsion to relieve the anxiety. Interestingly enough, the intestinal tract is only sensed through stretch receptors. The gut could be cut in half, and we wouldn’t feel a thing, but as it stretches, when food goes in, there are receptors that send signals to the brain that there is fullness, or emptiness. OK, who cares, right?
When we are hungry, our brains flood with endorphins in order to keep the stomach from feeling the pain of hunger. The interesting thing is that once we are full “enough,” the stretch receptors signal the brain to stop producing extra endorphins. The endorphins that flood the brain when we are hungry ironically numb the pain we feel over an environment we cannot control.
The feeling of full “enough” can be the most painful for someone with bulimia. The next bite simply allows them to take their anxiety to the highest level with a binge, and release the WHOLE situation in one/two/three episodes of vomiting. This bite is the ANSWER!
What do I do?!
I’d never write a blog without giving you a REAL resource STRAIGHT from the heart! And this IS where it gets real. Instead of judging this cycle, I truly believe we should learn from it and explore it for everything it CAN provide, and it can provide a lot. Since the possibility of binging and purging is likely going to happen again, let’s make it an opportunity to explore the feelings that bring us to that point. Or rather the FEAR of the feelings that could arise.
Below is a free resource that should be done after that magic bite. Go ahead and TAKE the bite, let those floodgates open, and start in on this sheet. This is a tool DESIGNED only to be done in that very specific moment. THIS is where the feelings and insights are that we use behaviors to numb. Let them LOOSE! Also to be noted is that this sheet is NOT to be used to distract yourself from using behaviors, but to get some insight out of the process.
No judgement about the actual behaviors, we’ll get into that later, but for now, if they ARE in your life, let’s USE them to explore the deeper issues. Once we can attack those, the behaviors will subside.
If you or someone you love has an eating disorder, it’s important to make sure you understand the dangers and the importance of treatment. Whether it’s bulimia, anorexia, binge eating disorder, or something else, these are serious illnesses.