This Groundhog’s Day, as you begin to support your loved one who struggles with an eating disorders, it is important to avoid the fear of failure. Anything you say or do could, or can be highly triggering to the very person you are trying to protect and support.
The fear of triggers in patients with eating disorders can make it hard to say or do anything regarding food, support, and even love for the one who struggles. Groundhog’s Day is truly about making a decision and moving on. This Groundhog’s Day we invite you to choose support in whichever mode it arrives.
The absolute truth is that you WILL fail. The fact that anyone with an eating disorder can be triggered by ANYTHING makes it difficult to know what to say, but we encourage you to move ahead as a parent.
Parents of adults with Eating Disorders
As you know, or are now learning through this blog, you, the parent of an adult, are the most supportive role anyone can play, except, of course, the patient. The decision to remember being the parent of your son or daughter is more important than anything you can do, support wise.
The parent is the ultimate safety for any young adult struggling with an eating disorder toward permanent recovery. The safety they feel with you as their parent, is something no treatment professional can offer. You are who they go to. You are the wall they can trust never moves.
You are the one they hope will not change with the situation they are in. Remembering who you are to your son/daughter is paramount to their eating disorder recovery. Recovery will NOT be pretty and will demand every inch of your integrity to stay “parent,” and not let go to make them feel better, or relieve their pain in any moment.
So, really, Groundhog’s Day happens for you almost every day as you must continuously decide whether to be the best as a parent or do what feels good, which might show up in ways your son/daughter will make painfully clear.
They will scream, “Please don’t put butter in that dish!” This will be such an easy way for you to provide pain relief. You now have the choice to listen to their eating disorder fear, or their long term recovery. How easy is it to avoid the butter in a dish when your son or daughter is home from college for just a weekend, you miss them, and it sounds like they are on fire. Easy.
Remembering that you are the parent, and the key is to remain, and represent as normal as possible for them? Difficult to the point of tears. We will definitely be doing more on this, but for the moment, just today make the harder decision, and make it tomorrow.
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