I know you: you are looking for the perfect eating disorder recovery, and expect that if you do everything perfectly, like you do in the rest of your life, you’ll ACE recovery with flying colors. Here are some mistakes people JUST LIKE YOU make when entering into the eating disorder recovery process. We’ve seen it so many times, that we thought we’d help our newbies get as prepared as they can be. Again, we KNOW YOU, and know you’ll want to know it all before you even get started.
1. Expecting progress to happen quickly (yes, this works in the rest of your life, but not in eating disorder recovery)
When we expect to progress rapidly, as we may be following all the recovery steps perfectly, we miss the fact that this is a much deeper, and more complex issue than we give it credit. Punishing ourselves in the recovery process only wastes precious time when we could be working on the issues behind the disorder.
Progress is a process very similar to the rise in a stock’s value over time. It is not linear, and it’s important we take heed to digest this concept. The secret to recovery demands we take only OUR OWN baby steps, without the expectations we may have of ourselves. Ironically, in most cases, the idea of a “Flight to Recovery,” only ends in a hard crash into relapse and more time within the process. Not good or bad, but evidence based treatment shows this correlation in spades.
2. Misunderstanding the progress process
Progress through recovery not only takes an insufferable amount of time, but tends to come in fits and starts, creating feelings of overwhelm, and like we’ll never get anywhere. Please know, you WILL move forward, stand still, and fall back into behaviors over and over—and over. This IS the nature of progress.
Check out these tools to aid in rising above the chaos! Download our Progress Tracker!
If you think about it, during the recovery process we interact with our environment as well as resolve internal issues. Recovery has to be free to move around, or it will fail. Try to look down the line, toward the FEELING of what you think recovery will give you and again, download our free progress tracker.
3. Trying to recover alone
The nature of an eating disorder is highly insular, lending the anxious person to cope alone. The short term feeling of insularity is calm, organized, controlled, and sometimes powerful. The problem is that this coping mechanism does not last farther than the behavior episode. Also as our high achieving, and perfectionistic patients, there is a deep seeded belief that there will be harm if others see they need ANYTHING, but more importantly is the feeling of threat that if someone is let in, they will make this sweet soul do things he/she would feel a deep level of anxiety.
Reach out for support in how to safely ask for the support that actually feels supportive. (206) 910-8690 for a FREE Assessment. Parents also feel free to text or call this number for support in methods to help your son or daughter keep on the forward track.
4. Focusing on behavior not beliefs
As much as I would love to say that it’s all about the food, and the behaviors, IT’S NOT. If we think about it, success in the process would be easy for people as determined as recovery patients. You really could fix it if that’s all that had to be done, which makes it attractive to the typical high achiever and go getter.
Focusing on these easier things, is a FABULOUS distraction from exploring the pain that caused this in the first place, as well as the pain that maintains the disorder. Alternately, when we put energy into assessing and reframing painful beliefs, we can start to make micro changes and huge progress through the process. As these gut level beliefs change, behaviors become less threatening to change.
5. Falling into perfectionistic tendencies
Prioritizing your recovery is the most helpful tool in feeling successful throughout the process.
You Should:
- Quit all dangerous behaviors
- Stop smoking
- Forgive your mom
- Get a dog
- Have the perfect relationship
- Eat all of you meal plan
- Only exercise intuitively
- Do yoga every morning
- Drink tea
- Schedule an appointment with your therapist
Sure, but what focused area is going to push that recovery needle forward? Can we place the others in order of priority and let them wait on a timeline you can access later?
I PROMISE, if you try to do too much in recovery, you’ll spin out into the Twilight Zone (this is a clinical term, trust me). This eating disorder you’re struggling with has nothing to do with who you will be in your recovered state, it’s a bumpy road that will authentically reveal that you always had all the answers to recover on your OWN path.
The only way you can fail is to give up all together. Now you WILL have many moments of, what I’ve coined, “A case of the F%*k its (also a clinical term).” This is one of the most natural PARTS of the process, where we get really honest with ourselves, about our feelings, just as feelings. In other words you can feel like giving up without it meaning you HAVE given up.
If you or a loved one could use support through the recovery process, or you support a loved one and need tools, please do not hesitate to reach out! FREE Assessment! Text/Call (206) 910-8690 or email